The world of genious hour so far

Honestly getting into the swing of things has been one of the worst things ever. I’m passionate about what I want to be doing, but actually taking the time and looking up how to do things is just dull to me, I have no motivation to do anything anymore and I mean ANYTHING.

This far I’ve created some forms of art but I haven’t researched what kind of art they are or whatever I just kind of sat down and created them because I’m a loser. I’ve basically failed in every aspect of this project ever so there’s that. The things frustrating me is that I don’t like to be told how to do things when it comes to creating art, I know it’s important, but everything about getting online to try to find all of this junk, searching through junk is just getting so annoying.

My plan this next week is to fight through the pain of hating to research and just getting it done because after I get that done it’ll be an downhill battle and I’ll just be able to create. I will be the one that keeps myself going, maybe I’ll set an alarm or something to remind me when I need to do things pertaining to the project.

New Beginnings or whatever

So in 9th grade my super awesome English teacher had us do these bucket list goals type thing where you take the age you’re turning this year and you make that many goals/bucketlist things so here I go.

1. Get my permit and drivers license

2. Do something outside of my comfort zone at least once every two months

3. Make a new friend or two

4. Start thinking about college

5. Do homework on time

6. Exercise

7. Write as much as possible

8. Smile

9. Go on an adventure at least once a month

10. Finish this list

11. Get better at guitar

12. Get better at piano

13. Study even for random things

14. Get better at art

15. Have a Harry Potter marathon (No sleeping allowed)

16. Movie night/ Camp in the back yard

Teachers

So basically teachers drive me psycho pants. Well most of them.

I work very hard now a days on my stupid homework. I am a believer in some homework, I get it. But when someone tells you-after working for hours on some dumb project that you couldn’t care less about- that you are a lazy loser.

No.

could you not? Excuse me. I think that some teachers think that they know everything, again not all of them, but they expect us to be able to do all of this junk that is basically impossible. I just can’t. Stop. I try so hard on all this junk and it doesn’t help me with anything but I try to be a good student but that hardly even matters, because if you’re not perfect then you suck. It’s annoying.

Sorry about my imperfect skills in your class.

Rant over.

Dreams

My biggest dream, is to make a difference somehow. In a positive way obviously, but I want to do something that actually means something. My fear is that one day I’m going to get old and I’m going to look back and I’m not going to have done anything special.

I would love to be a mental therapist, many people that are close to me have some sort of mental disability and I just want to help someone. I know this pretty cool therapist and she’s just made an impact on me and it would just be really cool to be able to help people.

I’m really blunt though and I’m not usually very sympathetic at all depending on what’s going on, and I’m just so blunt that maybe I wouldn’t be a great therapist. Eh. Just going to school for that kind of stuff would be cool though, so even if it didn’t actually end up happening, just learning about it would be pretty cool.

The good of Adversity

With all of the terrible things that we have all gone through, most of us can agree that we focus on the negatives of adversity.

It was a cold day, I had my paycheck in hand as I walked home. I pulled my scarf up higher onto my nose and let out a deep breath. I needed to get home to Jess. She was waiting for me all by herself. Mom was gone now and so was dad. Dad never bothered to stick around.

With me as the oldest of the two of us, it was my job to take care of her, I had to be everything that I could. I had a basic job at a basic store with a basic paycheck. It was the worst job I’ve ever had, but I needed the money.

“Percy!” She called running up to me. I smiled and ruffled her hair.

“Hey Jess, how was school today?” I asked her setting the paycheck on the counter of our small apartment kitchen.

“Are we poor Persea?” She asked ignoring my previous question. I sighed.

“Why do you ask?”

“All the other kids don’t play with me because they say we’re poor.”

“Yes we are,” I said letting my long hair fall into my eyes. Disappointment filled me and I wished that I could give her everything that she needed.

“Well at least I have you,” she said running up and hugging my leg. I was shocked that was what she thought. Didn’t she care that the kids would never like her as long as she was poor, and it was all my fault.

Raging Fear

I’m going to be blunt. I’m finding myself at a loss of words, so, one of my very many fears is birds. Ever since I was little, I’ve been terrified.

It all happened when I went outside to play basketball. I don’t normally exercise, and this, now that I think of it might be the reason I have a slight hatred for it. Anyway, so imagine a small little human, walking out of the garage with a basketball, they stop. Lo and Behold there’s a bird, making a messy nest in the basketball hoop. In order to play basketball that bird would just have to go.

What’s the natural way to scare things away? Why not just run at it, screaming on the top of your lungs, then it’ll definitely fly away. Wrong. As I charged the beast it spread it’s wings and squawked at me, I immediately fell back, after such a brave fight, I didn’t want to over do it, my battle cry turned into a cry of fear as it started to fly at me. I threw the ball into the grass and ran back into my garage, running up the three steps to get inside, and slammed the door behind me.

My heart raced and as I sat down on the floor, holding the door closed behind me, with wide eyes I remember thinking. I will never play basketball again, birds are evil. 

9/11

This is for the people that lost loved ones

Family

Friends

Lovers

For them we raise our flag

For them we rise above

For those that died we sing

Letting our freedom ring

Through our nation

It was any other day

People drinking coffee in the morning

Soon they’ll be morning

For the deaths and destruction of the fateful day

Now we will raise our voices and sing for them

The angels that are now watching from heaven.